Your Throat Tightens
Fotos von Eunice Cheng
POSTCARD FROM SEATTLE #01
Your throat tightens, palms sweat, heart pounding, as if a stone that weighs a thousand pounds lies on top of your chest, day and night, 24/7.
Every morning you wake up as if you just smoked a hundred cigarettes; excitation, dizziness, guilt, confusion.
You walk out of your apartment, see a pigeon happily pecking the ground for food in the rain, but all you see is mockery as if this is a sign of your future.
Seeing is believing.
Scientists have done research saying that what humans perceive in this world is only 2% true in the reality; does this mean that the coffee in my mouth is not bitter but sweet, and that my mother’s unconditional love is only pretense? I guess it doesn’t matter as long as the lies can fool my body and mind and merrily push me through time.
What is reality anyways? Is there one? How can you tell that the voice in my head is not real? Perhaps I am the few who are closest to the truth; I am the chosen one.
3…
2…
1.
And all of a sudden you feel happy and jolly again. You are a teacher’s pet, you raise your hand as fast as Hermione Granger; the higher the grade you get, the merrier you are; just like the more money you have, the more everything you are.
The sun shines, the smell of grass and rain; everything looks as if the unicorn has just pooped out of rainbows. Perhaps I should stay bubbly, no one likes a depressing one.
If I keep thinking that my unicorn has just pooped out of rainbows, it will eventually turn into reality.
Now that my laptop’s battery has only 10% left, it is a sign, a sign that today’s work is done and I shall comply… or does it mean that I’m done and finished, and I too shall abide?
Thinking is believing.